Birthday season has come back to the David household.  Taylor and Travis are now off to their own adventures while Tre and his wife prepare for life with just the babies.

Just don’t think Mrs. David has forgotten about the incredible shrinking savings account.

It ended up being a very long hospital stay for Mr. & Mrs. David due to the complications.  However soon they were home with the 9th and 10th additions to their family:  Trevor Elijah David 5lbs 2oz, 19in. & Venus Sophia David 4lbs 9oz, 18in.  Venus was the one who had the critical heart rate, however she is doing just fine now.  There may be longer term complications so Mrs. David does her research between night feedings.

Oh… and Taylor needs his ass whooped.

He sent a picture of the twins to his girlfriend talkin ‘bout

“This could be us ….but you trippin”

Damn it Tre, get in the damn hospital.  And you should have peed before you left….

Dr. Pancakes:  Mr. David, it appears one of the babies is in severe distress. The baby is presenting breech and there seems to be a knot in the cord.  We’re going to need to perform an emergency c-section to save these babies lives.  Good thing you came in.

Tre: Babies? Plural? Emergency?

Dr. Pancakes: Sandy can you please show Mr. David where the restroom is so he doesn’t shit himself?…

After arguing about who left a cookie under the couch, Tre decided it was best for his wife to lay the fuck down take a nap.  But just as soon as she hit the bed, labor began.

And  boy was it intense this time.  I mean it was bad.  So bad, that Tre broke out in the heebie-jeebies during contractions.

As much as she wanted to have a  home-birth, his wife was realizing something might be terribly wrong…. this is the worst labor out of 8 children.

“Baby, something isn’t right.  I think I need to go in.  I can’t do it anymore”

So Tre grabbed the bags and they left for the hospital leaving his wife rather disappointed.  And scared.

Tre was now home on Family Leave and was left to his own devices against the hormonal, hugely pregnant, irritable wrath of his beautiful wife.

He tried to clean up and fix things around the house to give her a break and avoid unnecessary arguments, which almost worked until she smelled that spoiled tea behind her which sent her into a pukefest all over the floor he just mopped.

Tensions are running high in the David household.

Welp, Tre and his wife were back from vacation and, of course, they brought back a little tiny souvenir.  Giving the news to the older children was rather unpleasant, however it was Sunday after all which meant a great meal with all of the older children slowly trickling in.  Except for Claudia and Troy…. 

BTW, Travis is never pleased when it’s his turn to clean dishes on Sundays.

And after the super dope romantic dinner? Toe-curling baby-making time.

Tre had a special surprise waiting for his wife when they returned to the cabin.

So after an afternoon of:

• Deep conversations
• Long hikes
• Wildlife Discovery
• Getting lost (not according to Tre. Tre never gets lost according to Tre)
• and Professions of undying love….

His wife hit him with something and although he was caught off-guard, he was pretty sure he knew what it was because…..

“We’re getting older Tre.  The last of our sweet babies will soon be leaving to live their own lives.  I don’t think i’m ready for an empty home yet.  Can we try for just one more baby?  Do you think it’s wise at our age?”

“Wise? Baby there is nothing more beautiful, more perfect, than the sight, the smell, the glow of you carrying our child.”

….. he felt the same.

Well, after the most beautiful surprise she had ever received from her children, the morning of her trip Mrs. David personally called to thank her oldest children for the gifts, the food and the love.  She invited Mia over personally to thank her for coming up with it all and to compliment her on her beautiful party planning skills.  Mia, of course, gave all the credit to her girlfriend Jerrilee.

Meanwhile, rumor had it that Taylor and Travis were planning a party of their very own.  Tre David made himself very clear when he caught them off guard to let them know there will be no half naked girls twerking all up in his swimming pool.  The boys were not pleased to learn their older sisters would be checking on them.  DAILY.

Fuckhelooklike

To the surprise of both Mr. and Mrs. David, their children and their children’s spouses (minus Troy’s wife who volunteered to look after all of the grandchildren) threw them a surprise Anniversary Party just a day before their trip back to the mountains. 

Claudia had decided she wanted to make her marriage work.  Her mother supported her but was clearly unhappy.  Distracting from a very tough conversation, 4pm rolled around and the twins were a nice break from the tension.  That is, until dad got a hold of the news.

“You know I’ll kill him right?”

Claudia defended her husband and promised he would get help.  Marriage is through sickness and health.  Something she thought her parents already knew.

“We have to say something Rylie.  I’m scared.”

Rylie called Auntie Mia who in turned called their granny.

Mrs. David did not like the news that her first-born was being mentally tortured by a mentally unstable man.  She told Claudia that she had no other choice but to leave him.  It was affecting the children.  This was something Claudia knew she had to do, but hearing it from her mother seemed so final.

Levi was especially relieved to see his granny.

“Everything will be just fine Levi.  I promise.”

When your husband surprises you by telling you he’s taking you back to your favorite spot in the mountains for your anniversary, so you say thank you by breaking him off so hard in the bed that the pillows blow up.

Mornings are the hardest part of the day for Mrs. David.  Her husband leaves for the office right after the boys leave for school.  Most days she paints or bakes to get through the uncomfortable silence within the walls of her home.

She springs back to life as the sounds of smacking lips, jokes and her husbands deep voice telling her about stocks, bonds, dividends and holdings (that which she knows nothing about) fill her home around 4pm.

She can’t wait for 4pm.

Mrs. David spent some time along the river catching up with her older children and all the interesting details of their independent lives.

“Mom, you know the REAL reason he had to leave is because he’s been seeing a much older woman who is pretty well known around here.  He was NOT trying to go there with you.”

Another late night for Tre….

Mrs. David arrived back home just in time to send Travis off to bed and talk to her husband after he finished up some work.

“I went to see Mia today.  While I was there I met her girlfriend.”

“Her girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

“Is she happy?”

“She definitely looked happy.”

“Then I’m happy too.”

“Me too.”

When you weren’t expecting to come out to your mom for some time, but she sneak attacks you with a surprise visit.  But she’s all like “Well you sure have good taste” and “damn she’s hot!” and “you two have my blessing” and “I love you Mia” and “you two make a cute couple!” and “hurry up and adopt me some grand babies!” and she’s cracking up at the fact that you weren’t going to tell her….

So you’re all shocked because you realized you were nervous for no reason at all and you should know better because your mom is a fucking boss and she loves and supports you no matter what.

Eleanor couldn’t, for the life of her, figure out why her mother-in-law was always so damn happy with so many children!  She came to visit to get some advice and support because taking care of five kids was really starting to take it’s toll.

Mrs. David had nothing but great advice (she IS a professional homemaker after all), however she couldn’t get Eleanor to feel better, even after taking her for a walk to get some air.  Eleanor was going through the post-partum blues.  Bad.

Which reminded Mrs. David that she hadn’t smelled that new baby smell in awhile.  So she sat in the park and called her husband who, of course, was in a meeting.  They didn’t get to talk about it that night either since Tre was busy watching the stock market and the boys wanted some quality time.  So, while everyone went to bed, she stayed up and painted.  It calmed her and took her mind off of her unfertilized eggs.

So Tre brought home three buckets of fresh lobster.  Very surprising for his wife considering how expensive that must have been.  She asked no questions and got to work on Lobster Tortellini.  It was a huge hit at the dinner table (no, seriously, these little pixelated creatures were seriously going nuts about this damn lobster).

Later that evening, amid a flurry of affection, she wanted to ask about the money involved in dinner but she didn’t get the chance.

“I love you Isis. My only purpose in life is to see you and my children happy.  Do you understand that?  My SOLE purpose..”

Trenton is offically a grown man.

Birthday cake, some valuable advice from his parents and one last pic with his mom before he moves out.  Bittersweet moment for the David family as their household grows smaller and smaller.

Stella came back home to hang out with her baby bros.

Ya know, Eleanor didn’t mind so much that it was yet another boy.  She was just thrilled that there was ONLY ONE BABY in there!

Adam Daniel David born 05/08/15 3:30pm 7lbs 9oz, 22in.

“Well sweetheart, you finally got your five babies.  You want to go over there and try for six and seven?”

“You want to lose your scrotum?”

Nate and Grant grew up.  Of course to make room for however many children are currently residing in Eleanor’s uterus.

“I bet it’s twins again…”

“Troy don’t make me hit you in the throat with this entire pot of chili.”

Welp.  Troy’s boys are celebrating birthdays too! 

The Nics ladies and gentlemen. 

Dominic in the Black sweatshirt & Nicolas in the Grey shirt/white sleeves.  Also, clearly fraternal.  Dominic looks exactly like his mother Eleanor while Nicolas is the spitting image of his father Troy.  Lovely.

Happy Birthday Ri…..

“Seriously. You with the camera? GTFO”

The oldest of the David children, Claudia, was prepping herself and her family for yet another addition.  She did a good job too because Rylie couldn’t wait to meet her little brother.  Levi Allen Johnson was born 05/06/15 at 8:02pm weighing 7lbs 8oz and 21inches. 

Meanwhile at Troy’s home, Eleanor was getting used to life with two sets of twin boys.  She got a routine going and still made time for herself.  Troy even bought a bigger home for them (with his father’s help) and they were preparing to move.  However, Eleanor had come to a decision:  She was never having sex with Troy EVER again.

Poor Eleanor.  She stood like that, in shock, for the rest of the day.

While Tre’s mind was on his money and his money was on his mind, his wife was thinking of other things.

“Our anniversary is coming up baby…”

She could feel his tension even though he promised her he hadn’t forgotten and they would celebrate like newlyweds.

Claudia and Kevin are expecting again!  Kevin always loses his mind while Claudia always loses her stomach contents.

Granny and grandpa paid Rylie a surprise visit today.  Her two favorite people in the entire world.  She went to bed a happy girl.

Taylor & Travis.  Making fun of adults and other shenanigans.

The Nics (Dominic and Nicolas) also grew up, they are only a few years younger than their cousin Rylie.  Meanwhile, Troy’s daddy’s genes are on fire as yet another set of twins were born to him and his wife.  Nathaniel Lee David 5/4/15 8:50am 8lbs 1oz 20in. Grant Spencer David 5/4/15 9:01am 6lbs 3oz 19in.  

Eleanor thinks shit has gone entirely too far…..

Claudia and Kevin’s daughter Rylie grew up from a little baby to a toddler little young lady.  She’s a whiz kid with a thing for chess however she’s a gloomy little thing.  Get’s that from her mommy and daddy. Claudia figured a nice, bright bedroom would bring a little cheer to her little girl.

“… You’re up every night like this Tre.  You think I don’t know… but I do.  Months ago you left for work and there… there were some files open on the computer.  You’ve got thousands of dollars, so much money tied up in this. I know that’s why you don’t sleep.  I love you and  I just don’t want …. Baby I don’t want to lose our home or anything that you’ve worked so hard to provide for us.”

So now with a house full of boys, Tre spends most of his time teaching them how to stay fit.  The boys are always eager to work out with dad.  I mean, just look at him!

Besides that, when the boys are off to bed he and his wife keep their bedroom on fire.  The secret to a happy marriage.

Troy was entering the hospital with Eleanor just as his sister Claudia was being discharged.  Troy apparently inherited his father’s fertility and is now the proud father of twin boys. 

Dominic Layne David 7lbs 7oz, 21 in. at 9:32am on 05/02/2015.

Nicolas Michael David 7lbs 10oz, 20in. at 9:40am on 05/02/2015.

The “Nics” as they are affectionately called.

Troy decided it was only right to finally make an honest woman out of his longtime girlfriend.  He married Eleanor in their living room with the boys as their witnesses.

Claudia David-Johnson, the first born child of Mr. and Mrs. David, welcomed Rylie Dana Johnson to the world with her husband Kevin on 05/01/15 at 1:37am.  She weighed 7lbs 10oz and is 19in long. Rylie is the first grandchild of the David family.

Congrats!

More of Trenton because, handsome.  BUT!  The twins grew up too!  Taylor and Travis are officially out of the bassinet. 

Birthday season once again at the David household.  Tre get’s one last cuddle in with one of the twin boys while the Mrs. starts baking the cakes.  First up the twins Olivia & Stella (who promptly moved into their own apartment).  Then Trenton who grew into the most handsome teenager I have seen in this game thus far…

Reminds me a bit of Nas….

“Tre guess what!!! WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A GRANDBABY!!!!”

uh huh, oh yeah, we bad, uh huh, oh yeah…

Troy and Eleanor had a pretty hot relationship.  They are young and full of horny.  Troy however never paid attention to his father’s very important “talk” about protection.  As if on cue, Troy’s mom came to visit just as he was leaving for work and just as Eleanor was about to blow chunks all over the kitchen.

“You smell like fertilized eggs sweetheart”

“Um… Mrs. David, I have no idea what you…”

“Oh come on Eleanor!  I’ve had 8 babies.  I can smell a fertilized egg in Oasis Springs!  Anyway, gotta get back home.  CONGRATULATIONS! Now get working on that wedding!”

After a quick trip to the store for a test, Eleanor realized that Mrs. David was absolutely right…

Another productive weekend has come to an end.

Good night from Mr. and Mrs. David.

Deciding to work off some of the baby weight after giving birth to a second set of twins, only to be reassured that you are beautiful no matter what size you are.  Good job Tre.

Meanwhile, Trenton has quite the sense of humor.  A trait his parents enjoy very much.

Meanwhile, meanwhile…

“I don’t want to hear anything that will ruin my home Tre… I don’t want to hear it.  Please, keep whatever it is to yourself.”